the dreaded day

well its may 30,

 i never would have imagined myself making it to this day,  especially remaining in a positive mind set.

if you didnt know, a year ago on may 30, 2008 my father passed away from a heart attack.

i must say it was one of the hardest days i endured. i never would have thought that i would be okay with the situation. for the first time in a long time im here to say im okay, yes he was my best friend but i know hes always there with me cheering me on. every performance, every studio day, every test of my strength hes there rooting for me. sometimes i find myself just crying because i dont think i can make it without him, my family couldnt go on without him. i would just sit there and wish, beg and plead god please give him back.

i guess the thing that hit me the hardest is the fact that i never got to say goodbye, he never got to see me do regular teenage things, get my license, shit not even my permit, never got to watch me walk across that stage to get the thing we have been working for 12 years for, see me perform, watch me succeed. and now with everything in my life taking off at a running start, i feel like a piece is missing now. ive wished for many unrealistic things in my lifetime, and this is probably the most unrealistic of them all. i just want my dad back, just so he can see me do the things he wished for. for the rest of my life i will dedicate every good thing to him, he made me who i am today. he gave me the hopes and dreams ive come to have today. he told me to take my dreams and run, dont ever give up on something you want, you just have to work long and hard and you will get it. 

i know when i graduate, ill be lookin for you, my first performance ill be wishing you were sitting front row and center, i wish you'd be giving me off on my wedding day(if that ever happens lol)  . when i was lost you helped me find me, and im forever grateful for everything dad, you raised a strong woman, a musician who WILL make it no doubt about it,  i do everything for you and the name you made for yourself and our family. dont worry dad, ill keep them safe, and ill always protect my family. ill keep my mom strong and keep the rest safe. i miss you soo much, more then anything more then words can express. cant wait till i see you again

i love you and always will

Rest In Peace William Dennis Richardson 

04.01.60-05.30.08